Of course I love you. Now get me a beer.

Does being in love with someone mean you give up who you are and become a slave to their needs. Apparently so. As human beings we go out of our way to please everyone else, at the same time as constantly seeking that reinforcement that we are still loved.

It seems to me that we use that people pleasing skill too excess, and it looks like a desperate attempt to convince the person that we love that they need us. They couldn't possibly live without us, because look! We do everything for you.

Well I say bollocks to that. Not to say I won't do anything for the person I love - hell I'd take a bullet for them, but doing it to keep their love? Well no, that just ain't my style. I want someone to love me because I enrich their lives, I stimulate them to achieve all that they are capable of, and I'll be there to brush off the dirt and help them back up when they fall. And I'd like to receive the same in return.

Why can't we see the signs that the person we are right next to is sending us. Are we sometimes way too close to see the smoke signals? Does it take that blatant proclamation of love to let them know how we feel? Why aren't we brave enough to just tell all? Why keep our cards close to our chest? Expose it, let it be heard, and deal with the after effects. Get your own beer. If they don't feel the same as you do, you've just saved yourself the pain in the ass of trying to prove to them that they need you, rather than just being in the now and enjoying the time you spend with them.

Women are so needy these days - they call, they hang on, they cry when he's out of sight. They worry that he's with someone else. So when he's there, what do we do? We pander, we try too damned hard to be exactly what he needs. Why not be yourself - you might be surprised that is exactly what he needs. Stop asking him if he loves you and just believe that he does. Stop hanging your hopes on a fairy tale ending, and start living in the now. Enjoy every day that you have with the one you love and send them off safely into the world whenever he needs to be set free. Get him a beer, but for god's sakes, stop asking if he needs you and start learning to read the signs. Sometimes they in neon lights. You've just got your blinkers on.

Love him, let him love you, but make sure you both keep enough independence that you don't need to ask, you just know. Oh yeah, and don't get shitty at him for going on a bender with his mates - he's a bloke for god's sake. Live and let live.